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It’s a common question asked, which of the Sex and the City characters do you most relate to? At times, I am Miranda, a strong minded career driven woman trying to juggle motherhood and personal ambition……at other times I’m Carrie when I’m flirty with my hubby and wearing something categorized as “fashionable”….depending on the mood you find me in, I’m not sure I’m ever a Samantha, however, if you ask me today, I am Charlotte York!!!!
What is a good chick flick if not for some fashion, some female dilemmas and mama drama. In the most prophetic scene of the first SATC movie, Charlotte and Miranda discuss the trials and demands of motherhood. In a vulnerable moment helped by liquid courage, the character Charlotte divulges…. “I feel so guilty because all I ever wanted was this family,” she sobs and takes a sip. Miranda gives her the courage to continue to let out what Charlotte desperately needs to release from her ethos. Charlotte looks at Miranda….one mother to another and says “these kids are driving me CRAZY”. THERE IT IS! The thing that we are all feeling inside!!!!! No matter if you have one, two, three or a village of children.
This pandemic is literally making us MOTHERS reach for the bottle, the iPhone, the bathroom lock….basically a lifeline!!!!! The overwhelming burden of constantly being needed, called for, ignored, dismissed, and then being asked “ is the laundry done? or whining “I’m hungry!” or having to be everything to everyone and still maintain a loving, intimate relationship with your partner, and working your job or side hustle and oh ya…..eat well, meditate, exercise, socially distant from your bestie and hold down the Fort….because the mom is the pillar of the family and if she breaks the whole thing comes crumbling down. No wonder we are crazy lunatics!!!!! That’s an immense amount of pressure on any given day let alone during a pandemic.
So then comes all the self care and self love articles on social media trying to help us get centered and stay kind to ourselves. Well this mama had enough. It was on one such “day of rest/family day” that I just had enough. I couldn’t even look at my family, I couldn’t stand their voices, their demands, needs or wants. I was running on empty and my tank was giving fumes and those fumes turned into anger and rage. The lifeline came when my partner looked and me and said “Go for 2 nights, I got this” I swear I felt all the pressure lift from my chest. I didn’t even question him. I got an overnight bag, packed my things, took some snacks and got in the car!!!!
I was fortunate enough to go to a vacant property of a relatives and just do nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean useless, mindless, mind numbing nothing. It started with a bath, then reading a book, then staring at the paintings on the wall, then ordering Uber eats and then my binge watching on Netflix started which lead me to that infamous scene with Charlotte and Miranda having a mom to mom talk in Abu Dhabi.
Charlotte finally admitted that even though she had full time help she needed a break from Motherhood. In a pandemic this is certainly the case. I fear that us mothers have continuous fantasies, and I’m not talking sexual experiences, but rather fantasies of running away from our families and just going to a hotel room to sleep, order room service and feel NOT NEEDED! So I’m going to be your Miranda! And I’m calling on your inner Charlotte to release your guilt. You are an AMAZING mother and doing a FANTASTIC job under DIFFICULT circumstances. Take a sip! Listen up, it is not selfish to take a day or two for yourself to do nothing! If you are an athlete…..consider it your active recovery!!!! If you are a baker, consider this letting your bread rest! If you are human being…..you need time alone to be with yourself because especially as a MOTHER, if your column or pillar is wobbly…..then the whole temple is coming down. So take a sip of your coffee, your green juice, your wine or your distilled water! You deserve a break too and no one is going to give it to you…..so I’m here to be your Miranda, and I’m telling you, take it girl! Do it for all us moms!